The Guy Upstairs

 If you ever wonder what a rhinoceros sounds like bowling at 3AM, come spend a night in my apartment.

The guy upstairs — I’ve never seen his face, but I swear he does parkour in his living room. Every night. Without fail.

At this point, we’re in a passive-aggressive stand-off. I stomp when he stomps. He drops something heavy when I play music. We’re basically enemies in a sitcom now.

I should leave him a note. Or maybe bake cookies. Or maybe put glitter in his mailbox. The jury’s still out.

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7

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